Charlie II

Ok, to begin with, please double space the paragraphs. This is done by hitting the 'enter' key after ever new paragraph which puts an extra space between lines. For example, ...

*winks* I already do mate! The funniest times are when people miss out commas and completely change the meanings of sentences! Hope to see you protesting soon! DarkLight

Oooook, here comes the in-depth one: Its peak was the highest point for many miles in all directions, offering unrivalled views of its surrounds , but the hill had few ...

I'll take whatever help I can get so if you have a full critique then go for it! You will, whether you like it or not :P, have me critiquing ...

Looks like you need some critique! Prince Akkarn awoke to the familiar sounds of war, the echoes of the enemy’s canons audible from the opposite side of the Kingdom. Cannons ...

I think the main idea is that (according to teachers) it looks nice and neat with everyone wearing the same clothes. I agree with Shadow and I think that another ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter One: Second Part Critique ---------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Two Critique ----------------------------------------------------------

Standing between her was a blood stained door, unlocked by a simple wave and the door creaked open. Hmmm, I’d replace the ‘and’ with a full stop to break up ...

“We haven’t went through with it yet, but it will be soon.” He proclaimed almost embarrassingly. “I take it that Kaldel and Takia will be joining us soon?” I think ...

Thanks Lyndzi, I agree on your point about the wind 'finishing' but I like the other two bits and, personally, think they are better like that. Unfortunately, you'll have to ...

Wow, violent! I'd recommend paragraphing it with double returns so that the text is easier to read. The night was very cold. The streets were covered with black ice and ...

Errr, can you please proof read this (by reading aloud or to a friend/family member) and correct some of the typos. Also, run a spell check (which you can do ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter One Critique ----------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue: The Cut Opens. -----------------------------------------------------